是人无缘无故被追杀的时候，没有身怀绝技，就跑吧，像阿甘，run, forrest, run...直到跑出一片天...我宁愿坚信，这里总有一天会还以自由，因为这暗意的不只是我个人可以随便在虚拟世界里吐吐口水，也不只是google fans的胜利，那是一代人物的思想开翘，不然只是又一次损害智商的政治玩戏...说到底，是我很喜欢你，所以，我会把你留住，就像以前的日子里对你的不二...暂时逃离的日子后，你就回到我身边...
http://dontblockme.blog.com/
日记的空白
日记文档有几个空白，看着感觉只有两个，快点把它们填上，生活的条理丢掉了？这是一种强迫症，一定要写，可以改天补上，不可错过一篇。日子活到这种地步有可能失真，不过那是一种不安稳感的存在，在背后推着自己知道每一天是怎么活过来，或者捱过去的。
对着四面的墙，尤其是白白的，看不到前面躺着什么，更会想借用这种方式安慰自己，今天我写了，是充实的一天，明天也要写，因为那样也会充实。迷失于生活的细节，大气不知道会不会在其中死掉，思考不知道会不会因此扭曲。
忧虑从来不是自生的，肩上有什么，心里就有什么，不过死活拽不出心里的，有点惨。一个人很好，人说，虽然吃的看的听的拿的做的，如果不是别的，就是寂寞。可是，对着空荡荡的房间，冰冷的气息，还有陌生的人来人往，心里还有一个位置没被填满的。
wake up and get food
waking up from tiredness and boredom
the room and the world fell hollow
regardless of presence of a few
the street be calm
in the deep dark
lying on the fussy one
twos and threes walk by between times
the crossing ain’t slept
male and female with hasty steps
fill the vacancy left by their fellows
here you find
what is living
what is dying
the room and the world fell hollow
regardless of presence of a few
the street be calm
in the deep dark
lying on the fussy one
twos and threes walk by between times
the crossing ain’t slept
male and female with hasty steps
fill the vacancy left by their fellows
here you find
what is living
what is dying
把记忆补回来
日记堆到一起，一天一天地往回数，才发现指针转动得好快，这半年来，尤其那段最后的离别，你不想让它走，它却偏偏停不下。翻翻记忆，已经有些模糊，也有好些就像在昨天的。我体会过的，在朋友都离开，或者离开了朋友的时候，那些哪怕是再细小的时刻都会浮上来。有些时候，你就会拿起手机，望着QQ好友列表，想想该给哪个人发条短信，该给谁在上面吼一下。
我对生活很不敏感的，也因此总不能领悟一些细节，时间悠哉悠哉地过，我就让它忽悠忽悠我。毕业的时光我都没记下来，太忙了，给自己找个借口。那时上班总是黑着脸，哎，四年的尽头，为什么就不能去好好玩玩，珠海回不了一趟还要加班，朋友相聚最少就是迟到，补回一顿牢骚，只是那时矛盾的心情很迫切，还好毕业时能把帽子抛得高高的。
还有不少忘了记的，比如这半年里经常听到一把坚强而又柔弱的声音、一幅沧桑而又刚毅的表情，多少无奈写在那上面，但看到的人却不多，能明白的更少，他只能在背后默默地咬牙，忍受住一切，流言也好，蜚语也罢，偏执狂有时就是无法理解的。
缺石帮走在一起有点无厘头的，那次不过一次无聊相约一起打桌球，完了草地上喝点酒吹一吹段子（那天是4月11日啊，缺石们记住了），想不到后来“由于校园生活过于平淡，追求新鲜感的一群学生便成立了恶搞5人组织——缺石帮，以‘创意恶搞’为乐事...”缺石们几经众多乐事，怕他日难再有这等往两肋上插刀的缺石。
弹指间的事还很多，比如现在，就得去睡觉了，一早又得面对单调的未来生活，有那些些镜头还是浮上来了，比如几次饮酒狂欢，那时我们最真的时刻，典礼上的不能自已，晚会上缺石们的自high，小肥走那天他的不舍——还有好多好多人的不舍，张凡走之前一晚的傻叉行为。哎，还是来日再述吧。
我对生活很不敏感的，也因此总不能领悟一些细节，时间悠哉悠哉地过，我就让它忽悠忽悠我。毕业的时光我都没记下来，太忙了，给自己找个借口。那时上班总是黑着脸，哎，四年的尽头，为什么就不能去好好玩玩，珠海回不了一趟还要加班，朋友相聚最少就是迟到，补回一顿牢骚，只是那时矛盾的心情很迫切，还好毕业时能把帽子抛得高高的。
还有不少忘了记的，比如这半年里经常听到一把坚强而又柔弱的声音、一幅沧桑而又刚毅的表情，多少无奈写在那上面，但看到的人却不多，能明白的更少，他只能在背后默默地咬牙，忍受住一切，流言也好，蜚语也罢，偏执狂有时就是无法理解的。
缺石帮走在一起有点无厘头的，那次不过一次无聊相约一起打桌球，完了草地上喝点酒吹一吹段子（那天是4月11日啊，缺石们记住了），想不到后来“由于校园生活过于平淡，追求新鲜感的一群学生便成立了恶搞5人组织——缺石帮，以‘创意恶搞’为乐事...”缺石们几经众多乐事，怕他日难再有这等往两肋上插刀的缺石。
弹指间的事还很多，比如现在，就得去睡觉了，一早又得面对单调的未来生活，有那些些镜头还是浮上来了，比如几次饮酒狂欢，那时我们最真的时刻，典礼上的不能自已，晚会上缺石们的自high，小肥走那天他的不舍——还有好多好多人的不舍，张凡走之前一晚的傻叉行为。哎，还是来日再述吧。
mourn the unarmed
It's been 20 years, but it's only 20 years... that 20 years ago, they chased truth, they pursued democracy, they requested freedom, and they sacrificed. History has been running on a path far from being longed for, and being forgotten... yet not lost, it was there, and it stands there. But we never know where lies the righteousness, and how it comes alive, when the lies unveiled, and why the innocent discharged by a monster bragging, I'm born with the mission of safeguarding you...remember the temblor
Light a candle in our hearts and bless the best the souls of the innocent roost peacefully, and their departure brings fortune to offspring, their adversity paid for the cost of blessedness, their agony bestows our inner security...
uncyclopedia prank
资源的保贵性是在你知道外面有很多资源，却可望而不可及，事实上大多数连望的份都没有，比如在中国的中大，严格的河蟹制度加上超慢的网速，想看有些“不该看”的东西，比登天还难。解决的办法有好几种，一种是装个宽带再开个代理，二是把服务器放在国外（其实只要不在大陆应该都可以）。有幸试了其中一种之后便可以分享一些新鲜的事儿。
介绍个刚发现不久的wikipedia山寨uncyclopedia (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page)，中文名伪基百科(http://zh.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/%E9%A6%96%E9%A1%B5)，其实是个恶作剧网站，自称恶搞百科，万不可信以为真。当然，这类民主性泛滥的东东自然是不能在国内存在，必须进行河蟹。
uncyclopedia首页
wikipedia首页
伪基百科首页
维基百科首页
介绍个刚发现不久的wikipedia山寨uncyclopedia (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page)，中文名伪基百科(http://zh.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/%E9%A6%96%E9%A1%B5)，其实是个恶作剧网站，自称恶搞百科，万不可信以为真。当然，这类民主性泛滥的东东自然是不能在国内存在，必须进行河蟹。
uncyclopedia首页
wikipedia首页
伪基百科首页
维基百科首页
再转来一些恶搞内容分享一下。
戴着三个表的河蟹 喻意很明显
国家秘密武器 葵花宝典
youtube 被河蟹的av网站
这个就不注释了
IKEA创意茶几
Vista创意广告
Hu kissing Sarkozy 这个是在牛博网上弄到的
gz feature - flying kite at sports center
A kite is getting to fly at the Tianhe sporst center at nightfall. At this time of the day, tens of kites are flown spacious square, by lovers and families. It's been a nice scenery in Tianhe district, the square being a site for leisure after wok, sport, dating and gathering.
fun stuff in the states
时间流走得好快，都有好些事情记不起来了，也是突然想起在美国那会儿有些趣事，不记下来怕就这么忘了。好像蛮多，好像也不多，就捡一些来说吧。
到LA的头一天睡过去了，翌日早晨和Billy一起在UCLA附近狂，熟悉一下环境，见到路边有不少自动售报纸机，投币进去就可以打开取（除非是没什么道德的，不然都不会全部拿走），还看到些是免费的，回来的时候便取了一份免费的LA Express，看报纸名像是LA的当地新闻或便民信息。回去一打开看才知都是召唤女郎广告（有兴趣的可以上主页http://laxpress.org/看看），确实是便民广告。
不久后的几天，去Wellsfargo办银行卡，我正在抹眼镜，Billy递上口香糖，我示意直接塞嘴里吧，旁边一位老兄马上说，“You’re not serious, right…?”嗯，没办法，在我们的文化里，我们没有gay这一说法。后来跟一日本朋友说起，他说没想到差点给一个男的“性侵犯”，因为在他们的文化里头，也是没有这等事的。
街头偶遇超人好似不容易，刚到LA不久住在Santa Monica时便在街上遇到一位穿着超人衣服大叔，大腿上还破了个洞，我们便兴奋地一一与之合照，大叔严格规范我们的动作。后来听说超人大叔经常变换服饰，蜘蛛侠啊，蝙蝠侠之类的。
生活在LA没有私家车人很像跛了脚，毕竟地方很大，公交和地铁系统很难方便地遍及每个角落，再加上我和公车有仇，所以时不时跟它过不去。搬了家之后我上班可以只坐一班车，但那班车一个钟头只有一趟；也可以坐另一辆再转一次，但第二辆车若截不到，只能往回搭。有一回就是第一辆车在中途塞了车，眼睁睁地看着要转搭的车在面前溜过，只好坐回去搭多一辆车再转一次，前后坐了四辆公车才到办公室。另一次等车时发呆，车一来我就上，结果坐反方向了，经过机场时我才恍悟，幸亏那里有火车。再有一次就是等了两个小时还没见车来，打给supervisor说我今天在家里干活吧，现在也想不清楚那时如此有耐性，估计又是在发呆。
有一次坐Christine的车在高速路上，差点吻到后面开过来的车，那男的便把手伸出窗外，再把中指竖起来。Christine一气之下打开车窗，唾沫横飞地跟他理论，一堆civil society为什么要彼此粗鲁的话，男的只好慢慢把窗摇上去。
在LA去的第一个教堂是和Laura去的，West Angeles Church of God in Christ，美国最大的Church of God In Christ，听说也是加州最大的教堂，参与礼拜的多是黑人。本以为教堂是宁静的场所，起码不会像闹市集。但见识过West A Church之后，就知道教堂可以像开演唱一样的，一个唱诗班貌似有近百人，奏的乐曲都是很鼓舞人心的，当然也就很high，高水准的音响设备（据闻是有电视现场直播的）。从10点钟到正午，唱了两个钟头，也站着跳着扭了两个钟头，但我坚持了一个钟头就放弃，乖乖地把屁股放在座位上，原来上教堂也可以是项体力活，黑人的精力之丰富可见一斑啊。
住在Laura家时，某天发现家里有只小老鼠，Laura急得发慌，誓要把它赶出家门。过了几天就发现我放在柜子里的大包巧克力被小老鼠吞食了不少，我便把粘鼠剂放在我柜子里，在粘剂上放了巧克力，没想着聪明的小老鼠没上当，又连连得手。直到一日凌晨3点多听到门有轻微的响声，原来是小老鼠的尾巴粘住了，卡在门缝，我便起身我袋子装了拿出门外帮它超度。Laura被惊醒，和Jadar（家里的狗）出来，问我，”what’re u doing, ryan?” “um, just killing the mouse.”后来Laura每次见着朋友都会笑破肚皮地说我那天很滑稽的样子。
机构的办公室有一角租给了一间小会计公司，老板是个2nd generation Chinese-American，他老婆是3rd generation Japanese-American，但不会说日本话。每天她都会带着亲切的笑容经过的位子，停下来的时候就会和我聊聊中国的事，新闻的还是听说的，赞一赞中国，”china’s a great place””yeah, though there’re lots of problems there, I believe it’s getting better and better””I’d definitely go there someday”然后放低声音踩一踩美国，说出一大堆美国的坏话。当然时不时还有其他人对我有弟妹感到惊讶，说中国不是有one child policy嘛。
Lakers的比赛我一直拖到12月底才去看，借口是看完太晚了没车回家。后来终于找了个周五晚上去看，对Kings的，结束时已经过了10点半，坐车时11点钟。结果就坐了两趟metro，转搭shuttle去机场再打的回家。不然，只有打的回家是最直接的方案，那样烧掉的银纸比看球更贵。
在San Diego和Doreen、Silvia一起上餐厅吃饭，要了水和柠檬（可以自制成柠檬水，省了点钱），无耐服务员直接拿来柠檬水，想好了久才知原来我叫了lemonade，然后说sorry, lemon。当然，西人的态度都很好，不会给你扮阴脸。
同样是在San Diego，三人一起去完Mission San Diego之后，Silvia进去7-11买东西，进去了很久。我便去看个究竟，见到她买了面包，想顺便拿点cheese，便用纸巾盛住机器里挤出来的cheese，舔一舔…我忍住没笑。第二天逛得实在很累，Silvia抱怨身上背着大把东西挺累的，中间的过程忘了，我说，那也是，很少人会用纸巾盛cheese的，然后狂跑。（Silvia的笑话是可以篇成一本笑话集的）
在DC的第二天早上等地铁，因为9点过后才可以用day pass，便在Chinatown站门口站着点了根烟，后来就前后有六七个人上来can u give me a cigarette? i’ll give u 2 quarters. okay, no problem. 没办法，烟很贵的。
在Philly下车那晚是平安夜，除了Chinatown，静得惊人。放下了行李在城里走了半个钟头还是基本没见到人，好不容易才找到一间酒吧，喝过一瓶正要走，老板就说过节了，有点礼品送，便是有时会穿的那件怪物衫。第二天更见鬼，出了门本以为还是可以遇到些人、找到些东西吃的，没想到正宗的圣诞节里，街上是不会有人的，也没有车。于是步行了整个城市，偶尔见到一两个游客，一两间开着的商店，下午还是找了很久才把吃和方便的事情解决了。除此之外，就是见到很多homeless，时不时上来问一问，u got a dollar? u got a quarter? u got a cigarette?他们很主动，当然也是很客气的，对他们说没有，他们也会客气地谢谢；给了，就会说些god bless u之类的话。后来惊奇地发现，rocky的雕像是真有的，不止出现在电影上，摆的地方就在他经常跑步去的博物馆前面。
国内的debit card一般是不能透支的吧（起码我用着的就不可以），但不知那边的debit card是可以透支的，只不过透了就要罚钱，还要不还的时候每天追加一点罚金。在NYC玩时才发现卡里透支了好几次了，一查，妈呀，被罚了近两百刀。打去电话，传来印度口音，只能把问题解释清楚就算了。东借西凑是还了，免得留下记录，后来解不了气便跟去银行要求退还一些款额（中间还有些可以气着人的环节），不过只能跑去练练口语、发泄发泄。
因为银行卡和信用卡的问题，就差点在波士顿吃不了饭。银行卡的事上面提到了，信用卡方面，因为还款是用人民币还的，消费是用刀，便用个过程缓冲一下吧。那晚还了钱，第二天要过一段时间才可以用，但当时还不知道，身上只有几把刀，买了车票，就更少了。结果逛完Harvard想买点纪念品时发现用不了信用卡，于是作罢，但中午也吃不成饭。在MIT时急了，要真是出了大问题，第二天还回得了LA嘛？便打电话回国，打不通…还好傍晚时试了一下终于用得了，那天第一顿饭就吃上了。
在NYC和岭基的人吃完饭逛街，头正看着地，突然有一人拍我肩膀，还说着粤语，第一反应时这不见鬼了？原来同校的Eric，他去Florida念书，居然在这给见着了，the world is small, man。
在NYC最刺激还是去times square倒数，提前了6个钟赶到（白天去了liberty island，NYC开始下雪，岛上的风和雪特大，被冻得像根冰棍）和Jasmine会合，但还是因迟到了几分钟多走了10条街，终于找到可以挤的位置，然后抬头一望就是答莱叔叔的广告。虽然温度不很低，但风很大，于是上百万人那晚都在做些离奇的事提高兴奋度和温度，每个钟头还像真的倒数倒数一次。数完最后一个“1”的时候喉咙早就有点哑哑的，脚也有点麻的，那晚却是最美丽的一晚，尤其是数完后那些音乐和疯疯癫癫的人。
The morning of 2nd day arriving at LA, Billy and I was hanging out on the street, where we saw some automated newspaper selling machines, which you could reach your hand in and out with a copy upon feeding some coins. Some of the newspapers were free though, then we took one, LA Express (log on to http://laxpress.org/ should you wanna find out more, lol), from whose name we guessed it was reports of local news and guides. Well, it was local guides actually when we unfolded it and saw all sorts of prostitute ads.
A couple of days later we showed up in the Wellsfargo bank applying for debit card accounts. Billy handed over a gum when I was wiping my glasses and signaled him to feed me, when then a guy said with kind, you’re not serious, right…? Okay, and well, I could only say, we don’t have such a culture as mistaking guys as gays.
Santa Monica is a great spot if you wanna enjoy beach plus sun shine and leisure, but if you get luck you might run into street superman, as we did one day hanging out on the street. With a hole on the pants though, the superman was said to turn to spiderman and batman afterwards.
Living in LA without cars (as most families own more than one car) will be like walking with a limp, since it’s too big to have metro and bus system covered the entire city well. Well, but the story is about my discord with the buses. There was once I had to take 4 buses getting to the office, after watching the second bus which could take me directly to the spot just running away before me, and then had no choice but head back to take another 2 buses. On another morning, the bus gave me a tour around the airport before I realized I took the opposite direction. The last entanglement with bus was probably when I waited for 2 hours then made a call to my supervisor telling her I could work at home, great patience though.
Driving in LA is most of the time civilized, except once Christine almost kissed a car on the freeway, when its driver put out his finger. That really irritated Christine. She promptly pulled down the window and yelled to him with a series of well-tested theory, before the man pull up the window without even a word coming out of mouth.
The first church in LA I went was West Angeles Church of God In Christ, with Laura. West A Church is the largest Church of God In Christ in the States, and the largest church in California, whose participants are mostly African-Americans. I used to consider church as a quiet place for worship, but that visit broadened that narrow understanding. The choir was composed by probably over a hundred guys and ladies, the music was highly inspired and so people were excited to dance, and it was said to be on live tv every Sunday. That gala went on for 2 hours, within which period, people never stopped their bodies, while I could hold on for half the time and rested for the other half.
Laura was almost freaked out when I told her a tiny mouse was living with us, and couple of days later I found my chocolates in the closet missed, the bag bitten apparently by the mouse. We put a sticky paper with a chocolate on it, and waited for the mouse to get trapped. But it was just too smart and got away until one day, around 3 – 4 in the morning, it was stuck at the bottom of the door. I grasped it with a bag, and helped it to end its nightmare by simply beating with a brick. Laura was awakened, and looked at me with surprise, “what’re u doing, ryan?” “um, just killing the mouse.” Well, each time after that night Laura saw her friend, she couldn’t stop teasing me.
On a corner of our office in LA, it was a small accounting firm, whose owner is 2nd generation Chinese-American, his wife 3rd generation Japanese-American. She always showed up with a big smile as passing my spot, and stopped off to chat with me about China, ”china’s a great place” ”yeah, though there’re lots of problems there, I believe it’s getting better and better” ”I’d definitely go there someday” then turned down her voice to criticize and scold America.
I had looked for excuses for not going to Lakers games, one of them was there might be no way to rush home. And when I did, on a Friday night as the Lakers beat down Kings, which ends around 1030, I had to take metro twice and get transferred at a shuttle to the airport, then I could finally take the taxi home.
On a journey in San Diego, Doreen, Silvia and I were served in the restaurant, and I ordered water and lemon. But the waiter brought lemonade, to my surprise, well, I pondered for a while, and said sorry to him, lemon.
On the same trip, we had finished the tour in Mission San Diego, and Silvia had been in a 7-11 store for some time. I went in to see what had been going, but saw she was holding cheese coming out of a machine with a napkin, sticky. As she lapped the cheese, I didn’t laugh out. The next day, Silvia was complaining too much stuff to carry, and… (sorry I forget something here) I told her nobody would wrap sticky cheese with a napkin, and took to my heels.
Day pass in DC would only be used after 9 am, and so I was waiting at the exit of Chinatown station, lighting a cigarette. Then 7 guys came up, can u give me a cigarette? i’ll give u 2 quarters. okay, no problem.
I landed at Philly on Christmas Eve, the night was so quiet and the city was so empty, even I had walked around half an hour. I found a bar finally, having a drink and just about to leave, the boss showed up and gave a gift, it’s Christmas Eve though. The 2nd day was even out of any expectation, no body and traffic on the street, no stores open, well, now I know how Americans enjoy their Christmas. And therefore, I got an ever special festival, walking around the entire city, sometimes running into one or two visitors, but mostly homeless who came up, u got a dollar? u got a quarter? u got a cigarette? and found there is a rocky statue, at the last stop of his running every morning.
Most debit cards in China probably don’t allow overdraft, but the goddamn US debit cards have a ‘overdraft protection’ function, which fines you 25 dollars each time one uses his card with balance being below zero. I was one of the victims, getting to know it when touring in NYC, and almost 200 bucks had gone.
Without cash in hand, you can get almost starved to death, that did to me when I made the trip in Boston. The debit card issue had been explained, and the credit card, as it’s Chinese, it needed some time to turn normal, when I purchased Chinese yuan to pay back US dollars, although that process may take up a day. Normally you don’t feel bothered by it, but once you need it for urgency, you know how untrusted cards can be. And so I had to eat the scenes in Harvard and MIT to get my stomach comforted.
The world is always small, but before you knew it, you had to meet surprise. After the luncheon with Lingnan Foundation, we were hanging out on the street, my eyes staring at the ground, when a hand put on my shoulder. Wow, it was Eric, my schoolmate, now studying in Florida.
The most exciting moment (though it was not just a moment) was at Times Square, waiting for the ball drop at New Year’s Eve. Though getting there 6 hours earlier with Jasmine, we had to walk for 10 more blocks since the entry was just blocked, and finally got to a spot where Dalai’s ad could be easily seen should you raise your head. It was freezing that night, and so guys and ladies did bundles of crazy and weird stuff to raise your body temperature and excitement. And well, we counted down every hour, but the last ‘1’ got the most volume. And that night was so beautiful if you could hear the music, and the kissing couples.
到LA的头一天睡过去了，翌日早晨和Billy一起在UCLA附近狂，熟悉一下环境，见到路边有不少自动售报纸机，投币进去就可以打开取（除非是没什么道德的，不然都不会全部拿走），还看到些是免费的，回来的时候便取了一份免费的LA Express，看报纸名像是LA的当地新闻或便民信息。回去一打开看才知都是召唤女郎广告（有兴趣的可以上主页http://laxpress.org/看看），确实是便民广告。
不久后的几天，去Wellsfargo办银行卡，我正在抹眼镜，Billy递上口香糖，我示意直接塞嘴里吧，旁边一位老兄马上说，“You’re not serious, right…?”嗯，没办法，在我们的文化里，我们没有gay这一说法。后来跟一日本朋友说起，他说没想到差点给一个男的“性侵犯”，因为在他们的文化里头，也是没有这等事的。
街头偶遇超人好似不容易，刚到LA不久住在Santa Monica时便在街上遇到一位穿着超人衣服大叔，大腿上还破了个洞，我们便兴奋地一一与之合照，大叔严格规范我们的动作。后来听说超人大叔经常变换服饰，蜘蛛侠啊，蝙蝠侠之类的。
生活在LA没有私家车人很像跛了脚，毕竟地方很大，公交和地铁系统很难方便地遍及每个角落，再加上我和公车有仇，所以时不时跟它过不去。搬了家之后我上班可以只坐一班车，但那班车一个钟头只有一趟；也可以坐另一辆再转一次，但第二辆车若截不到，只能往回搭。有一回就是第一辆车在中途塞了车，眼睁睁地看着要转搭的车在面前溜过，只好坐回去搭多一辆车再转一次，前后坐了四辆公车才到办公室。另一次等车时发呆，车一来我就上，结果坐反方向了，经过机场时我才恍悟，幸亏那里有火车。再有一次就是等了两个小时还没见车来，打给supervisor说我今天在家里干活吧，现在也想不清楚那时如此有耐性，估计又是在发呆。
有一次坐Christine的车在高速路上，差点吻到后面开过来的车，那男的便把手伸出窗外，再把中指竖起来。Christine一气之下打开车窗，唾沫横飞地跟他理论，一堆civil society为什么要彼此粗鲁的话，男的只好慢慢把窗摇上去。
在LA去的第一个教堂是和Laura去的，West Angeles Church of God in Christ，美国最大的Church of God In Christ，听说也是加州最大的教堂，参与礼拜的多是黑人。本以为教堂是宁静的场所，起码不会像闹市集。但见识过West A Church之后，就知道教堂可以像开演唱一样的，一个唱诗班貌似有近百人，奏的乐曲都是很鼓舞人心的，当然也就很high，高水准的音响设备（据闻是有电视现场直播的）。从10点钟到正午，唱了两个钟头，也站着跳着扭了两个钟头，但我坚持了一个钟头就放弃，乖乖地把屁股放在座位上，原来上教堂也可以是项体力活，黑人的精力之丰富可见一斑啊。
住在Laura家时，某天发现家里有只小老鼠，Laura急得发慌，誓要把它赶出家门。过了几天就发现我放在柜子里的大包巧克力被小老鼠吞食了不少，我便把粘鼠剂放在我柜子里，在粘剂上放了巧克力，没想着聪明的小老鼠没上当，又连连得手。直到一日凌晨3点多听到门有轻微的响声，原来是小老鼠的尾巴粘住了，卡在门缝，我便起身我袋子装了拿出门外帮它超度。Laura被惊醒，和Jadar（家里的狗）出来，问我，”what’re u doing, ryan?” “um, just killing the mouse.”后来Laura每次见着朋友都会笑破肚皮地说我那天很滑稽的样子。
机构的办公室有一角租给了一间小会计公司，老板是个2nd generation Chinese-American，他老婆是3rd generation Japanese-American，但不会说日本话。每天她都会带着亲切的笑容经过的位子，停下来的时候就会和我聊聊中国的事，新闻的还是听说的，赞一赞中国，”china’s a great place””yeah, though there’re lots of problems there, I believe it’s getting better and better””I’d definitely go there someday”然后放低声音踩一踩美国，说出一大堆美国的坏话。当然时不时还有其他人对我有弟妹感到惊讶，说中国不是有one child policy嘛。
Lakers的比赛我一直拖到12月底才去看，借口是看完太晚了没车回家。后来终于找了个周五晚上去看，对Kings的，结束时已经过了10点半，坐车时11点钟。结果就坐了两趟metro，转搭shuttle去机场再打的回家。不然，只有打的回家是最直接的方案，那样烧掉的银纸比看球更贵。
在San Diego和Doreen、Silvia一起上餐厅吃饭，要了水和柠檬（可以自制成柠檬水，省了点钱），无耐服务员直接拿来柠檬水，想好了久才知原来我叫了lemonade，然后说sorry, lemon。当然，西人的态度都很好，不会给你扮阴脸。
同样是在San Diego，三人一起去完Mission San Diego之后，Silvia进去7-11买东西，进去了很久。我便去看个究竟，见到她买了面包，想顺便拿点cheese，便用纸巾盛住机器里挤出来的cheese，舔一舔…我忍住没笑。第二天逛得实在很累，Silvia抱怨身上背着大把东西挺累的，中间的过程忘了，我说，那也是，很少人会用纸巾盛cheese的，然后狂跑。（Silvia的笑话是可以篇成一本笑话集的）
在DC的第二天早上等地铁，因为9点过后才可以用day pass，便在Chinatown站门口站着点了根烟，后来就前后有六七个人上来can u give me a cigarette? i’ll give u 2 quarters. okay, no problem. 没办法，烟很贵的。
在Philly下车那晚是平安夜，除了Chinatown，静得惊人。放下了行李在城里走了半个钟头还是基本没见到人，好不容易才找到一间酒吧，喝过一瓶正要走，老板就说过节了，有点礼品送，便是有时会穿的那件怪物衫。第二天更见鬼，出了门本以为还是可以遇到些人、找到些东西吃的，没想到正宗的圣诞节里，街上是不会有人的，也没有车。于是步行了整个城市，偶尔见到一两个游客，一两间开着的商店，下午还是找了很久才把吃和方便的事情解决了。除此之外，就是见到很多homeless，时不时上来问一问，u got a dollar? u got a quarter? u got a cigarette?他们很主动，当然也是很客气的，对他们说没有，他们也会客气地谢谢；给了，就会说些god bless u之类的话。后来惊奇地发现，rocky的雕像是真有的，不止出现在电影上，摆的地方就在他经常跑步去的博物馆前面。
国内的debit card一般是不能透支的吧（起码我用着的就不可以），但不知那边的debit card是可以透支的，只不过透了就要罚钱，还要不还的时候每天追加一点罚金。在NYC玩时才发现卡里透支了好几次了，一查，妈呀，被罚了近两百刀。打去电话，传来印度口音，只能把问题解释清楚就算了。东借西凑是还了，免得留下记录，后来解不了气便跟去银行要求退还一些款额（中间还有些可以气着人的环节），不过只能跑去练练口语、发泄发泄。
因为银行卡和信用卡的问题，就差点在波士顿吃不了饭。银行卡的事上面提到了，信用卡方面，因为还款是用人民币还的，消费是用刀，便用个过程缓冲一下吧。那晚还了钱，第二天要过一段时间才可以用，但当时还不知道，身上只有几把刀，买了车票，就更少了。结果逛完Harvard想买点纪念品时发现用不了信用卡，于是作罢，但中午也吃不成饭。在MIT时急了，要真是出了大问题，第二天还回得了LA嘛？便打电话回国，打不通…还好傍晚时试了一下终于用得了，那天第一顿饭就吃上了。
在NYC和岭基的人吃完饭逛街，头正看着地，突然有一人拍我肩膀，还说着粤语，第一反应时这不见鬼了？原来同校的Eric，他去Florida念书，居然在这给见着了，the world is small, man。
在NYC最刺激还是去times square倒数，提前了6个钟赶到（白天去了liberty island，NYC开始下雪，岛上的风和雪特大，被冻得像根冰棍）和Jasmine会合，但还是因迟到了几分钟多走了10条街，终于找到可以挤的位置，然后抬头一望就是答莱叔叔的广告。虽然温度不很低，但风很大，于是上百万人那晚都在做些离奇的事提高兴奋度和温度，每个钟头还像真的倒数倒数一次。数完最后一个“1”的时候喉咙早就有点哑哑的，脚也有点麻的，那晚却是最美丽的一晚，尤其是数完后那些音乐和疯疯癫癫的人。
The morning of 2nd day arriving at LA, Billy and I was hanging out on the street, where we saw some automated newspaper selling machines, which you could reach your hand in and out with a copy upon feeding some coins. Some of the newspapers were free though, then we took one, LA Express (log on to http://laxpress.org/ should you wanna find out more, lol), from whose name we guessed it was reports of local news and guides. Well, it was local guides actually when we unfolded it and saw all sorts of prostitute ads.
A couple of days later we showed up in the Wellsfargo bank applying for debit card accounts. Billy handed over a gum when I was wiping my glasses and signaled him to feed me, when then a guy said with kind, you’re not serious, right…? Okay, and well, I could only say, we don’t have such a culture as mistaking guys as gays.
Santa Monica is a great spot if you wanna enjoy beach plus sun shine and leisure, but if you get luck you might run into street superman, as we did one day hanging out on the street. With a hole on the pants though, the superman was said to turn to spiderman and batman afterwards.
Living in LA without cars (as most families own more than one car) will be like walking with a limp, since it’s too big to have metro and bus system covered the entire city well. Well, but the story is about my discord with the buses. There was once I had to take 4 buses getting to the office, after watching the second bus which could take me directly to the spot just running away before me, and then had no choice but head back to take another 2 buses. On another morning, the bus gave me a tour around the airport before I realized I took the opposite direction. The last entanglement with bus was probably when I waited for 2 hours then made a call to my supervisor telling her I could work at home, great patience though.
Driving in LA is most of the time civilized, except once Christine almost kissed a car on the freeway, when its driver put out his finger. That really irritated Christine. She promptly pulled down the window and yelled to him with a series of well-tested theory, before the man pull up the window without even a word coming out of mouth.
The first church in LA I went was West Angeles Church of God In Christ, with Laura. West A Church is the largest Church of God In Christ in the States, and the largest church in California, whose participants are mostly African-Americans. I used to consider church as a quiet place for worship, but that visit broadened that narrow understanding. The choir was composed by probably over a hundred guys and ladies, the music was highly inspired and so people were excited to dance, and it was said to be on live tv every Sunday. That gala went on for 2 hours, within which period, people never stopped their bodies, while I could hold on for half the time and rested for the other half.
Laura was almost freaked out when I told her a tiny mouse was living with us, and couple of days later I found my chocolates in the closet missed, the bag bitten apparently by the mouse. We put a sticky paper with a chocolate on it, and waited for the mouse to get trapped. But it was just too smart and got away until one day, around 3 – 4 in the morning, it was stuck at the bottom of the door. I grasped it with a bag, and helped it to end its nightmare by simply beating with a brick. Laura was awakened, and looked at me with surprise, “what’re u doing, ryan?” “um, just killing the mouse.” Well, each time after that night Laura saw her friend, she couldn’t stop teasing me.
On a corner of our office in LA, it was a small accounting firm, whose owner is 2nd generation Chinese-American, his wife 3rd generation Japanese-American. She always showed up with a big smile as passing my spot, and stopped off to chat with me about China, ”china’s a great place” ”yeah, though there’re lots of problems there, I believe it’s getting better and better” ”I’d definitely go there someday” then turned down her voice to criticize and scold America.
I had looked for excuses for not going to Lakers games, one of them was there might be no way to rush home. And when I did, on a Friday night as the Lakers beat down Kings, which ends around 1030, I had to take metro twice and get transferred at a shuttle to the airport, then I could finally take the taxi home.
On a journey in San Diego, Doreen, Silvia and I were served in the restaurant, and I ordered water and lemon. But the waiter brought lemonade, to my surprise, well, I pondered for a while, and said sorry to him, lemon.
On the same trip, we had finished the tour in Mission San Diego, and Silvia had been in a 7-11 store for some time. I went in to see what had been going, but saw she was holding cheese coming out of a machine with a napkin, sticky. As she lapped the cheese, I didn’t laugh out. The next day, Silvia was complaining too much stuff to carry, and… (sorry I forget something here) I told her nobody would wrap sticky cheese with a napkin, and took to my heels.
Day pass in DC would only be used after 9 am, and so I was waiting at the exit of Chinatown station, lighting a cigarette. Then 7 guys came up, can u give me a cigarette? i’ll give u 2 quarters. okay, no problem.
I landed at Philly on Christmas Eve, the night was so quiet and the city was so empty, even I had walked around half an hour. I found a bar finally, having a drink and just about to leave, the boss showed up and gave a gift, it’s Christmas Eve though. The 2nd day was even out of any expectation, no body and traffic on the street, no stores open, well, now I know how Americans enjoy their Christmas. And therefore, I got an ever special festival, walking around the entire city, sometimes running into one or two visitors, but mostly homeless who came up, u got a dollar? u got a quarter? u got a cigarette? and found there is a rocky statue, at the last stop of his running every morning.
Most debit cards in China probably don’t allow overdraft, but the goddamn US debit cards have a ‘overdraft protection’ function, which fines you 25 dollars each time one uses his card with balance being below zero. I was one of the victims, getting to know it when touring in NYC, and almost 200 bucks had gone.
Without cash in hand, you can get almost starved to death, that did to me when I made the trip in Boston. The debit card issue had been explained, and the credit card, as it’s Chinese, it needed some time to turn normal, when I purchased Chinese yuan to pay back US dollars, although that process may take up a day. Normally you don’t feel bothered by it, but once you need it for urgency, you know how untrusted cards can be. And so I had to eat the scenes in Harvard and MIT to get my stomach comforted.
The world is always small, but before you knew it, you had to meet surprise. After the luncheon with Lingnan Foundation, we were hanging out on the street, my eyes staring at the ground, when a hand put on my shoulder. Wow, it was Eric, my schoolmate, now studying in Florida.
The most exciting moment (though it was not just a moment) was at Times Square, waiting for the ball drop at New Year’s Eve. Though getting there 6 hours earlier with Jasmine, we had to walk for 10 more blocks since the entry was just blocked, and finally got to a spot where Dalai’s ad could be easily seen should you raise your head. It was freezing that night, and so guys and ladies did bundles of crazy and weird stuff to raise your body temperature and excitement. And well, we counted down every hour, but the last ‘1’ got the most volume. And that night was so beautiful if you could hear the music, and the kissing couples.
gz feature - jau gwei stall
A toy bicycle is running on the driveway as cars are driving, the toy sold by a jau gwei stall owner, jau gwei been vendors often running away from local police. These illegal sellers appear on almost every street at commercial districts, selling toys, pirated DVDs, flowers and street food like roasted chestnuts and stinky tofu. Many of the stalls are set up with little to no government monitoring, and therefore face expelling by local police or security guards.
roll call
现在几点：13:29
你的全名：高贞贤（以前是高桢炫）
你现在在听谁的歌：I'm yours (Jason Marz)
上一次吹蜡烛的数目：23 (22 for age + 1 for future)
你通常吹熄这些蜡烛的日期：12月19日（这不废话嘛）
你们家养过什么：鸡（一天下一蛋），猫（永远等不到她的儿女）
星座：射手（人马）
你有纹身吗：问过价格，太贵了作罢
喜欢目前的生活吗？- 人很难表达对当前的满意，只对逝去的怀念
喝过酒吗：不如问些正常点的吧
不爱吃的东西：人肉
喜欢吃的东西: 再具体些就告诉你
喜欢喝什么：咖啡（非即冲那种）
最喜欢的数字：2
最喜欢的电影：（别只问一个啊）god father, the shawshank redemption, forrest gump, pursuit of happyness, the bourne, leon the professional, fight club, saving private ryan, chinese odyssey, lord of the rings, a beautiful mind, the departure, schindler's list, the pianist, titanic, league of extraordinary, v for vendetta, flirting scholar, rocky, hitch, first blood, spider-man, batman, seven samurai, wall-e, royal tramp, ashes of time, once upon a time in china, police story, ...
喜欢看哪一种电影类型：你看上面有哪些种类就是了
喜欢的卡通人物：孙悟空（七龙珠）
喜欢的品牌：Google
最怀念的日子：逝去的都值得怀念
伤心的事情：伤心时发生的事情
最喜欢星期几：星期五（happy friday）
最喜欢的季节：白雪皑皑风不大的冬季
喜欢的花：雪花
喜欢的运动：篮球、跑步、睡觉
喜欢的冰激凌类型: 这里吃不到
最怕什么东西：很烦的人
如果有来世：别让我做动物
最讨厌的事：无所事事
最喜欢的事：一个人旅游
想做什么职业：不断跳槽
你们家住几楼：跳楼应该可致残
觉得自己十年后会在哪里：世界的某种角落，空气很新鲜的城市
寄这封邮件给你的上一个人是谁：ck (international big mouth的人)
无聊的时候你大多会做些什么：发呆，看电影
世界上最恼人的事：等待...
世界上最好的事：等待...
觉得同性恋如何：上一次没跟他们一起游行挺可惜
如果有人误会你：误会也是一种看法，无法阻止
有想过要怎么对付你讨厌的人吗：我也讨厌他/她，懒得理
通常几点上床睡觉：12-3
你觉得谁会先回这封信：说了他/她肯定不早回
你觉得谁是最不可能回复的人：说了他/她就会回
你现在最想见的人：天天想的人
你想在几岁结婚：28-30
有想过自杀吗：那你就见鬼了
最希望谁回信：我不寄给他/她，在心里回我就好了
想不想和发邮件给你的人一起吃个便饭：他还没请过呢
gz feature - sleeping migrant on curbstone
A migrant worker is having a siesta on a curbstone on the sidewalk, probably tired after a tough morning, or storing energy for the next coming hours, or, pondering in despair on the gloomy future.
living on a free land
生活在自由的国度，是一件幸福的事。不过时不时要像梁文道上次在讲座上说的那样“做中国网民怎么可以不会用代理呢？”还是挺麻烦的，为了上youtube瞧瞧成龙大哥上周六的在博鳌论坛上的重要讲话，开了wujieliulan之后其它网页的速度就变慢很多，最后一齐同归于尽，视频没看成，网页也没开成，唉。原来自由也得有代价，我们确实要被管一管了，还是歪叫布那伙人说得对，该看的就看，不该看的就别看了。瞧他们多有先进意识，一早就料到龙兄会发此言。
我是个后知后觉的人，今天才知道龙兄几天前出此豪言，既然看不成视频，只好把别人采访的抄一抄，“回归这10年后，我不知道，我是在香港长大的，我也不知有自由好，还是没有自由好，真正我现在已经混乱了。太自由了，就变成香港今天这个样子，很乱，而且变成台湾这个样子，也很乱；我慢慢觉得，原来我们中国人需要管的，如果不管，一开放，我们就为所欲为。我到新加坡去，为什么不能吃口香糖？原来不吃口香糖是对的。我给你吃口香糖，那些人就沾在桌子上、摆在椅子上，根本不自爱。很多人不像美国、日本一些地方，会自动地自爱，你不自爱的时候，政府就会管你。我开放，给你为所欲为，到今天，有些人滥用言论自由，滥用文化自由，滥用了人权自由，去滥用了。”
也才知道网上虽然有人护着龙兄，估计是因为他曾经拍过不少好看的电影，更有大量网民将其置于死地，称其奴性不改、八挂其隐私、攻击其人身。不过我是个见识不广的人，对龙兄的了解也不过就一两部电影，不知道他的文化水平如何，更不知他要表达的意思是个啥。
香港我没去过（土包子），所以也不知成龙大哥为什么说它乱。难不成是因为比起大陆来灯红酒绿？嗯，这个可能会得罪不少香港男同胞。还是说相比而言，香港有不少游行示威，跟症甫对着来干？这个就没办法了，现在还是一国两制，要管住香港，还得再等个数十年；说不定香港过几年兴吃河触了，也就管得住了，或者看到戴三个手表的人多了，也可以看得出香港稳定了。
台湾我也没去过，没办法，当年跟着政治老师喊“坚守大陆，反攻台湾”多了，搞得跟04年龙兄大笑台湾一样，想去都很难。他说的这个乱，难不成就是看到整天立法院有人在打架？还是那边的人儿太猖狂了，整天骂症甫？嗯，那这个肯定行不得，一个稳定诸如中国的国家，把人民管理成如此，成何体统。不过龙兄大可放心，两岸统一是大势所趋，届时还怕科学发展观传不到一水之隔的小岛上？
新加坡我更没去过，不知道原来那里是不能吃口香糖的，看来中国人的素质实在有问题，香港、台湾人的素质更不靠谱。不过不知道新加坡人知道了会不会生气，指责龙兄说他们不够自爱，所以才不可以吃口香糖。
我想起，听说港大那边有面墙，上面有很多学生提出所谓的民主意见。现在想想，港大也该被管理管理了。我又想起，在美国的时候，那边的人整天骂症甫的，像老奥上台之后，小布什就整天收到骂谩声（那家伙活该，谁让他说过，“人类千万年的历史，最为珍贵的不是令人炫目的科技，不是浩瀚的大师们的经典著作，不是政客天花乱坠的演讲，而是实现了对统治者的驯服，实现了把他们关在笼子里的梦想。因为只有驯服了他们，把他们关起来，才不会害人。我现在就是站在笼子里向你们讲话。”）；同事跟我说，我们就是要跟症甫不断要多点。现在想想，美国人可真是贪婪，他们也该被管管才对。然后，又想起有位仁兄说在BBC一个邀请布莱尔节目上，那主持人问了他20遍“你有没有对英国人说过‘对不起’”，然后说英国的媒体都是这样。现在想想，英国媒体真是不厚道，症甫做那么多事还被拉出来批，也该被整整了。
我也真是没想到，龙兄这番话，可以引起这么多yy。好多事情的道理不都摆在眼前的吗？症甫是管理者，人民是被管理者，这一定律在中国存在了至少五千年，那么推翻症甫的农民还不是成了症甫。人民是症甫的，难道不是吗？该看的就看，不该看的就别看；该说的就说，不该说的就别说。不然就是视非礼，道废话，不是吗？
你说，那还说成龙说错了干啥呢?不然，你以为言论是要自由，那更不应该啊，龙哥不就随口说说而已吗。莫非你以为龙兄说的是“我慢慢觉得，原来我们中国症甫需要管的”啊？
gz feature - traffic accident
A crowd gathered around a taxi which just kissed a bicycle on the drive way, police officers dealing with the issue. The onlookers show great interest in such a social issue, not even care to have blocked the traffic.
touching lingnan
陈荣捷的名单似乎知道得七七八八了，如果没错，岭南广州只有一个。某种角度看，可能是破天荒的事，事实也是，毕竟以前没有的事。不是专门来惋惜和遗憾，虽然，有那么一点。想起了罗省的岭南校友们，很友善、很可爱、很岭南的他们，好多次在周六日沿途逐一接过我们，又被一大批更年迈的岭南人握着手拉入岭南家族。于是，中秋的时候吃上香脆脆的烧鹅，厨房制造的第一次不是在五月花，站在中山元老面前说我们可是最年轻的中大人，摸摸原来早已存在的“岭南一家亲”几个字，每次被介绍陈氏学者…一切好似一早就安排好了，只是总想不通我们中间的介质是什么，只好用“岭南”二字来解释，因为他们总说了，一时岭南人，一生岭南人。临走前，我们一直开玩笑，今年会有6个fellow过来，Egbert和Betty的车可挤不下了，于是Wing老取笑说，去买部新的吧，把你的benz借我开。去年，也就刚刚过去，我们是3个小岭南，今年说不定也有3个小岭南吧。
gz feature - street garbage collector
An old man gathering "garbage" - waste plastic bottle, aluminium can and paper is sitting next to a tree on the sidewalk, resting. Many a senior and middle-aged people take this as their career, and look for trash abandoned on the street or in the trash bins, many of them migrant workers unemployed though.
midnight aloneness
在门内辗转，在门外抬头却望见红色的天，我以为天是蓝的，因为曾经好多次仰头都是蓝天，即使那是正在沉睡的夜，还有涩冷的风，冰凉的。于是白天卸下了妆换上黑夜的睡衣，匆匆的漫长的时间凝住了成了时点，愉悦的寡郁的变成了呆滞的思虑的。好享受那一分孤寂。在门外一根，两支，然后在孤单的小空间里等待倦意，失眠，很少来找我。
活得较真，每一刻都记在心里，生活就失味了，无法品尝其中的甜美，因为甜美中也有很多苦涩的杂味；但不认真品尝的，就像一口吞下人参果，很多都忘了，只知道我曾尝过。为什么有一个人说了，快乐使你健康，然而孤独才造却灵魂。能不能孤独地快乐着？不理镜子中照出什么人。
不是说了，有一时心里的期待很重，也有很重的惧怕。怎么一切都很快在变，让你适应，让你害怕，甚至认不出人来，零八年，那是什么样的年华，都忘了。生活是不是被人扭曲的词儿，才让你过了却不知它长得怎么样，梦想是不是也被蹂躏过，才让人根本捉摸不到它。一切都捉摸不透，离你越来越远的时候，你会不会害怕？你让我回忆，我能说出些事儿来，但有什么可以让我掰动那些神经。
一步一个脚印，在给你的路上走，你很心安理得，若让你轻轻地往右挪一步，你敢不敢？很多人敢，但在众目睽睽下，又慢慢地缩回刚提起的脚。如果一场狂风袭来，把我们的背负都卷走，把我们的痕迹都刮灭，那该多好。
what is in mind now
nothing and a lot
then it's a mess
man always asks why rush and rush for what
it is just a rolling stone moving onmove and move
till man gets tired and sick
tired we are the outer reality wildly pushing
sick we are the inner desire far reached
then change we need might be excuse
the ground is not under water
then why you feel the rough breath
or you perceive you are high above the planet
night is old
a perfect time thou gh not awaited
cz there’s no other ideal moment
it never takes long from young to old
just like it never takes from the start to the end
restless day comes in and out though peaceful
it is the peace makes up the restlessness
a circle has been sought for long while
within the circle there is a seat
a seat makes one real
cz without the seat there is only vacancy
unconscious changes have been made
changes led one to stuff messes everywhere
changes way from one knew
or ways one never adventures again
after all we pursue what we deserve
and it kills time to perceive what we could deserve
to discover one is a bit sand in the desert
a bit water in the ocean
throw the sand into the ocean throw the water into the desert
they become dead
when love is found in lack
love is what we need
when life is found a box of chocolate
what is in need?
活得较真，每一刻都记在心里，生活就失味了，无法品尝其中的甜美，因为甜美中也有很多苦涩的杂味；但不认真品尝的，就像一口吞下人参果，很多都忘了，只知道我曾尝过。为什么有一个人说了，快乐使你健康，然而孤独才造却灵魂。能不能孤独地快乐着？不理镜子中照出什么人。
不是说了，有一时心里的期待很重，也有很重的惧怕。怎么一切都很快在变，让你适应，让你害怕，甚至认不出人来，零八年，那是什么样的年华，都忘了。生活是不是被人扭曲的词儿，才让你过了却不知它长得怎么样，梦想是不是也被蹂躏过，才让人根本捉摸不到它。一切都捉摸不透，离你越来越远的时候，你会不会害怕？你让我回忆，我能说出些事儿来，但有什么可以让我掰动那些神经。
一步一个脚印，在给你的路上走，你很心安理得，若让你轻轻地往右挪一步，你敢不敢？很多人敢，但在众目睽睽下，又慢慢地缩回刚提起的脚。如果一场狂风袭来，把我们的背负都卷走，把我们的痕迹都刮灭，那该多好。
what is in mind now
nothing and a lot
then it's a mess
man always asks why rush and rush for what
it is just a rolling stone moving onmove and move
till man gets tired and sick
tired we are the outer reality wildly pushing
sick we are the inner desire far reached
then change we need might be excuse
the ground is not under water
then why you feel the rough breath
or you perceive you are high above the planet
night is old
a perfect time thou gh not awaited
cz there’s no other ideal moment
it never takes long from young to old
just like it never takes from the start to the end
restless day comes in and out though peaceful
it is the peace makes up the restlessness
a circle has been sought for long while
within the circle there is a seat
a seat makes one real
cz without the seat there is only vacancy
unconscious changes have been made
changes led one to stuff messes everywhere
changes way from one knew
or ways one never adventures again
after all we pursue what we deserve
and it kills time to perceive what we could deserve
to discover one is a bit sand in the desert
a bit water in the ocean
throw the sand into the ocean throw the water into the desert
they become dead
when love is found in lack
love is what we need
when life is found a box of chocolate
what is in need?
gz feature - begging girl on the street
A girl who's been severely burnt at her hometown in Hunan Province, as it claims on the notice beside her, is begging sitting on the sidewalk. Though miserable and difficult, she's not well patronized. Such cases can been in Guangzhou everywhere you visit.
senior search and philanthropy
“越是在经济危机的时候，企业越是要讲责任，越是要做公益。”这句话讲得很好听，就像“越是困难时候越验干部作风”一般寓意深刻，但不理解李彦宏是怎么把它和老年搜索上关系了。话说百度的“老年搜索”是这个月新推出的（也就在是Google推出谷歌音乐搜索不久后），或许因为页面上没有作广告，就称是“公益”吧（其它产品不是在右方就是在下方，或在中部带有广告）。
老年搜索的网址是http://123.baidu.com/，跟其中另一产品hao123网址之家有点相似http://www.hao123.com/，其实也是一个网址大全，不过字体要大一些，因为如此老年人就不用带上眼镜看；另外，选项少很多，但跟老年人的生活联系较多，比如“音乐”里头就有“流金岁月”和“革命歌曲”，还有些“书画”、“花鸟”的选项。但李同学说那是百度30多名工程师弄了半年多后推出的，颇有些疑点，毕竟百度偷偷地搞竞价排名的糗事都做得出来，这些时间也要多做些公关挽回声誉，因为对技术有点儿认识的人（虽然我不是）一下子就看出来，里头的“奥妙”除了把字体加大，将一些网址凑在一块，不知还有些什么可以唬人的。
对于这款“搜索产品”的疑问还有，既然为了照顾老年人的视力，那何不“送人送到家”，把老人家要看的东东也放大字体？因为打开里头的任何一个选项后，字体又恢复正常了，老年人们又得重新戴上眼镜或拿起放大镜。既然如此，让老人家直接在浏览器里放大字体不就得了，或用Windows里自带的“放大镜”功能？另外，“老年搜索”在老年人看来不知会不会觉得过于碍眼，毕竟老年人普遍不服老。
别扯得太远，说这事就是不大理解为什么“老年搜索”跟“公益”有什么关系？如果说是为了帮助老年人丰富生活、让他们更接近网络、加强与外界的沟通，那还得看后来的事实。但李总虽然打着“无商业利益诉求”，虚伪成份未免高了一些，连他本人都说“老年人使用互联网有非常大的潜力，中国有1.6亿老年人，未来还会有更多，未来我们也会有更好的老年搜索产品。”他说得没错，60岁以上的老年人已达1.6亿，占全国人口12%，并年均增长800万人；80岁以上高龄老人1805万，年均增长100万。他的话无非就是现在打着“无商业诉求”追求未来的商业利益。事实上是，现在就有一些网络公司开始布局老年人市场，无商业诉求，在中国，开玩笑。
末了，介绍一个山寨版百度老年搜索http://86.ln.cn/news/。还有上次百度竞价排名黑幕时流传出的一份营销方案PPThttp://www.tianya.cn/publicforum/content/free/1/1457295.shtml。
老年搜索的网址是http://123.baidu.com/，跟其中另一产品hao123网址之家有点相似http://www.hao123.com/，其实也是一个网址大全，不过字体要大一些，因为如此老年人就不用带上眼镜看；另外，选项少很多，但跟老年人的生活联系较多，比如“音乐”里头就有“流金岁月”和“革命歌曲”，还有些“书画”、“花鸟”的选项。但李同学说那是百度30多名工程师弄了半年多后推出的，颇有些疑点，毕竟百度偷偷地搞竞价排名的糗事都做得出来，这些时间也要多做些公关挽回声誉，因为对技术有点儿认识的人（虽然我不是）一下子就看出来，里头的“奥妙”除了把字体加大，将一些网址凑在一块，不知还有些什么可以唬人的。
对于这款“搜索产品”的疑问还有，既然为了照顾老年人的视力，那何不“送人送到家”，把老人家要看的东东也放大字体？因为打开里头的任何一个选项后，字体又恢复正常了，老年人们又得重新戴上眼镜或拿起放大镜。既然如此，让老人家直接在浏览器里放大字体不就得了，或用Windows里自带的“放大镜”功能？另外，“老年搜索”在老年人看来不知会不会觉得过于碍眼，毕竟老年人普遍不服老。
别扯得太远，说这事就是不大理解为什么“老年搜索”跟“公益”有什么关系？如果说是为了帮助老年人丰富生活、让他们更接近网络、加强与外界的沟通，那还得看后来的事实。但李总虽然打着“无商业利益诉求”，虚伪成份未免高了一些，连他本人都说“老年人使用互联网有非常大的潜力，中国有1.6亿老年人，未来还会有更多，未来我们也会有更好的老年搜索产品。”他说得没错，60岁以上的老年人已达1.6亿，占全国人口12%，并年均增长800万人；80岁以上高龄老人1805万，年均增长100万。他的话无非就是现在打着“无商业诉求”追求未来的商业利益。事实上是，现在就有一些网络公司开始布局老年人市场，无商业诉求，在中国，开玩笑。
末了，介绍一个山寨版百度老年搜索http://86.ln.cn/news/。还有上次百度竞价排名黑幕时流传出的一份营销方案PPThttp://www.tianya.cn/publicforum/content/free/1/1457295.shtml。
gz feature - cleaners and skyscraper
Three cleaners are sitting at the roof of the artificial fall at GZ East Railway Station Square, facing the 80-story CITIC Plaza. The fall is one of the famous Eight Interest Places, and CITIC building is the tallest in GZ.
gz feature - pearl river dancing amateurs
A group of mid-age and senior people are dancing at SYSU north gate plaza alongside Pearl River. These dancing amateurs have been dancing here through each night of the year, approximately 350 of them, separated into 9 - 10 groups, each playing different dances. These activities together with the nice view from the plaza, attracted many a people to stop by, and it's been spectacular scenery of the Pearl River.
fools' remembrance
又是一年愚人节。这个节日与我本无相干，一是没怎么留意，二是整人也不是在这天整；但去年的今日之后，这个节日就成一种恩赐，去年的这个时候，也就是我得知能够进入陈荣捷项目的几个小时后。陈给我带来了太多东西，虽然每每被严肃地问及有什么收获，都难以启齿。印象中除了写过两篇博记，就没有其它发表了，这个待一点一点以后补回来吧。
前不久陈项目的面试去帮了点忙，收集面试者的意见，聊聊天。才发现，今年岭院与其它院的面试是参在一块的，首次这么做，也是以后的措施。虽然会引来一些逆耳之辞，但这的确促进了项目的公平性。也许岭基给岭南多一点支持是应该的，但岭基是一个独立的美国机构，帮助岭南是她的使命，不是义务。
面试前后收到不少邮件询问项目、申请与面试信息。一些是有关于基本信息的。这一类有的是确实找不到相关的信息，还有就是为了得到项目参与者的确认，确定宣传和网站上写的信息。这里，我就感到很奇怪，为什么明明看到了还不确信？当然，这大概可以用文化差异来解释。中国人往往惯用会谈或电话，年轻人也是惯用QQ多于邮件，单向平面写好的文字往往不能完全说服人。
另一类是有关技巧的。老实说，这很正常，如果有捷径，人总是能捷足先登。这种情况下我大多用一段文字委婉地表达“不知道”。
人的问题都是基于对陌生事物的不解和好奇，知道了就自觉很正常。所以问题没有所谓好不好，这都是老美经常说的，有问题就要问，没有愚蠢的问题。对陈项目面试的疑问当然也就来是因为对她陌生。说到面试，一般人都认为“牛人”胜算大很多。可评判事物总得有标准，什么才是所谓“牛”呢？岭院的人对“牛”的理解大概大多是，你可以找到一份好工（虽然我也不道什么才是一份“好”工）。看过入选的所有Chan Fellow的话，嘿嘿，你就知道这里什么人都有，当然也有人们所说的“牛人”。
其实一句话说了算，这个项目招的就是适合的人，就像很多企业招的也是合适的人选。并没有牛不牛之分，这么说也是想让人对陈项目丢掉“牛”和“精英”这个看法，很多人因为抱着这个YY念头不敢申请，也有不少人YY自己很强跑来尝试。这一点上，即使“牛人”一个都进不了，我也不觉得很奇怪；即使岭院的人一个都没进，也不能代表这是岭南人的能力有问题（当然，另一种说法是，岭院没进一个，我也不会觉得惊讶）。毕竟资源的分配是择需而定，而不应该按能力分配。
那会帮忙的时间过得蛮有趣，因为都是不认识的，又非一个院。接触到不少新鲜的事和想法，而且小朋友们（也有几个大姐姐）都很有激情、很优秀。得益于这个项目，我明白以前一直没有理解的词儿，叫多元文化。陈的队伍里其实也就是这样，多元的。一个优秀的文化也应该是这样，不能给所谓的精英统治。
前不久陈项目的面试去帮了点忙，收集面试者的意见，聊聊天。才发现，今年岭院与其它院的面试是参在一块的，首次这么做，也是以后的措施。虽然会引来一些逆耳之辞，但这的确促进了项目的公平性。也许岭基给岭南多一点支持是应该的，但岭基是一个独立的美国机构，帮助岭南是她的使命，不是义务。
面试前后收到不少邮件询问项目、申请与面试信息。一些是有关于基本信息的。这一类有的是确实找不到相关的信息，还有就是为了得到项目参与者的确认，确定宣传和网站上写的信息。这里，我就感到很奇怪，为什么明明看到了还不确信？当然，这大概可以用文化差异来解释。中国人往往惯用会谈或电话，年轻人也是惯用QQ多于邮件，单向平面写好的文字往往不能完全说服人。
另一类是有关技巧的。老实说，这很正常，如果有捷径，人总是能捷足先登。这种情况下我大多用一段文字委婉地表达“不知道”。
人的问题都是基于对陌生事物的不解和好奇，知道了就自觉很正常。所以问题没有所谓好不好，这都是老美经常说的，有问题就要问，没有愚蠢的问题。对陈项目面试的疑问当然也就来是因为对她陌生。说到面试，一般人都认为“牛人”胜算大很多。可评判事物总得有标准，什么才是所谓“牛”呢？岭院的人对“牛”的理解大概大多是，你可以找到一份好工（虽然我也不道什么才是一份“好”工）。看过入选的所有Chan Fellow的话，嘿嘿，你就知道这里什么人都有，当然也有人们所说的“牛人”。
其实一句话说了算，这个项目招的就是适合的人，就像很多企业招的也是合适的人选。并没有牛不牛之分，这么说也是想让人对陈项目丢掉“牛”和“精英”这个看法，很多人因为抱着这个YY念头不敢申请，也有不少人YY自己很强跑来尝试。这一点上，即使“牛人”一个都进不了，我也不觉得很奇怪；即使岭院的人一个都没进，也不能代表这是岭南人的能力有问题（当然，另一种说法是，岭院没进一个，我也不会觉得惊讶）。毕竟资源的分配是择需而定，而不应该按能力分配。
那会帮忙的时间过得蛮有趣，因为都是不认识的，又非一个院。接触到不少新鲜的事和想法，而且小朋友们（也有几个大姐姐）都很有激情、很优秀。得益于这个项目，我明白以前一直没有理解的词儿，叫多元文化。陈的队伍里其实也就是这样，多元的。一个优秀的文化也应该是这样，不能给所谓的精英统治。
gz feature - photographed girl on beijin lu
A girl was photographed by her parent on Beijing Lu Pedestrian Street. Beijing Lu Pedestrian Street, along with Shangxiajiu Pedestrian Street, are GZ's historical shopping promenade, attracting tens of thousands of shoppers each day. As a tourist attraction as well, Beijing Lu hosts international travellers, and more foreigners are seen frequently than before. Besides the grand-decorating stores on each side of the street, there are also pirated and imitation goods sold here, often by sneak salesmen wandering on the street.
gz feature - ablaze luxurious habitation
A luxurious condominium, Jinhaiwan, was on fire 25th this month, but were put out soon, with no one injured. The fire was suspected to have started from line short, but no more details were revealed. Jinhaiwan is currently the most costly condominium in Guangzhou, sold at a price of 25,000-30,000 rmb/sqm, and had once peaked to 42,000. The picture was taken from the view of students' domitory in Sun Yat-sen University, in front of which are a row of low-income apartments offered to workers who earn less than 3,000 rmb/month.
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